How to make better decisions with this one question?
If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another.
The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.- Deepak Chopra
It is easy to feel indecisive, insecure and confused when it comes to making decisions, especially when you need to make a “big” life decision.
Sometimes, asking yourself the right question and giving it the right answer, will dissipate the confusion and the fears, and help you move forward with certainty. Couple months ago, I came across a new way of approaching decision making that made a tremendous positive change in my ability to choose in alignment with my heart and that's what I want to share with you now. But before we get there, let's address first, why we actually feel that way. Why we feel indecisive, confused and insecure around making decisions?
If you'd rather listen instead of read, click below to watch the full youtube video.
1. LACK of clarity
If you are lacking clarity, you lose touch with you innate guidance. Your mind gets cloudy and your emotions scattered. In that situation, it is just hard to feel sure about anything. The more important the decision is, the less we are willing to make a move when we are not clear, because much more seems to be at stake. So the lack of clarity is the first thing that is negatively impacting our decision making.
2. Lack of clear intent
Lack of intent means wanting to make a decision without really being sure about the WHY. Is it because you want to please others? Is it because it's just expected from you to make a decision at the moment? If you are not clear on why you are making a decision, it just got a lot more harder to choose the right outcome for yourself.
3. Unjustified fears
Do you often feel a fear of regret or a fear of missing out when it comes to making a decision? Those fears can seem very real to you, but they are just your ego who would rather stay in the know than taking a chance. Just like Deepak Chopra mentioned in the opening quote of this article, those fears come from the false perception that the universe might punish you if you choose one option and not the other, which is not true. You are in charge of your creation. You are the most determining component of what you allow in your experience.
One point that feels important to mention is also: you will never “factually” know in advance if you are gonna miss out or if you're gonna regret. So you may as well let go that need for certainty because no one can give you the assurance, that this is the absolute best decision. The future is not written down somewhere. Instead, It is being created every single moment.
With all that said, this is the question I was talking about. It is my firm belief that if you ask this question to yourself and if you answer it with authenticity, it will help you get to a place where you feel a little bit more sure about your decisions. That question is this:
“what do joy, expansion and growth, look like for me in this moment?”
There are many reasons why answering properly this question would help you make a better decision every single time. The first point is (1) when you ask yourself that question, you are actually aligning with your soul's desire, what your heart really wants. Your soul’s desire is to feel joy, to grow and expand. And I would suggest that every time you ask yourself that question, you center yourself with joy first. Find a memory or a thought that makes you feel joy. As you do that, the decision you will make will most likely amplify the joy that you already feel in the moment.
When you ask yourself that question, you want to allow some outcomes to happen
Allow your heart to answer, not your mind. Your mind is biased with your limited beliefs, but your heart sees clearly..
Allow the answer you get to be different from common sense or common practice. Regardless of the disapproval of your circle of influence, as long as your answer feels true to your heart, follow through with it.
Allow the answer to be to do absolutely nothing about the situation at hand, not to try to handle it quite yet and to just be at peace with the circumstances for a moment.
When you allow the 3 points we just mentionned to happen, you are holding space for your absolute best guidance to unfold in the most exquisite way.
I hope that this article helped you get more clarity about your decision making process. If this resonated with you, I strongly suggest that you try using the question that I just shared with you to make your future decisions and please share in the comments section how it went for you. Finally, share this with you friends that might struggle as well with decision making.
Until next time, sending you love and light.
- Xavier.